Page 4848 - Week 15 - Thursday, 8 December 1994
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"King Billius", asked Rosemary, "what have you to offer?". "Lady, I bring you soft legless lizards, headless chickens and a wish for a Merry Christmas". "Chris Mouse?", asked the baby's new grandmother, Ellnor, coming in from the pitta house. "What is this Chris Mouse?". Everyone looked at each other quizzically for a moment, but no-one had an answer. Then she noticed a large guest sitting in the corner of the room. "Who are you?", she asked. "I'm Round John Virgin", he replied, "I go with mother and child". "No, you're not", shrieked Town Crier Ellis, "you're a Stefaniak from the area Ginninderra, if ever there was one. Get thee out of this Valley of Debt which is ruled by King Billius Woodus and his faithful servants. Go on, move on; move on; move on". "And the banks", said Round John of Stefaniak. "The Banks and the Conders will rue the day they moved into our valley", cried Town Crier Ellis as she picked away at the pitta bread on the table.
Michael, the shepherd, wandered in, looking sheepish. "Baa, humbug", he cried, "A pox on all your houses". "How dare you, shepherd?", asked Rosemary. "Who invited you to this party?". "This is a party?", he asked. "In that case, I have been led astray. The strange old man outside insisted that it was an illegal gathering". The old man, Yasser Dennis, was nowhere to be seen when the others went out to look. A large yellow double-decker chariot was seen heading out of town. The only sign of life was the woman Helen from the village of Szuty, painting words on the wall of the house of Herod. It read, "Wrong call; wrong place. We need more time to get this right. Let's do it again. Wait for the star that heralds the real son of David".
Valedictory
MS SZUTY (5.18): Madam Speaker, I have chosen to continue the theme of last year's valedictory speech, and that is to allocate what I consider to be appropriate song titles to members of this Assembly, based on their personal fortunes or activities during the year. As I also mentioned last year, these song titles bear a resemblance to my musical upbringing and experience, and, if members are not aware of where they come from, I will be happy to discuss them afterwards.
I will again proceed according to the call of the Assembly by the Clerk. Mr Berry: This year Mr Berry has inherited Mr Kaine's song title of 1993, If I could turn back time, referring to the time when Mr Berry was a Minister in this Assembly. Mrs Carnell: I want to be your number one comes to mind, as Mrs Carnell tops the Canberra Times popularity poll. I also considered Constant craving, but my son Andrei thinks that Girls just want to have fun fits the bill for Mrs Carnell, as she continues to enjoy her role as Leader of the Opposition. Mr Connolly: For the ever media-hungry Mr Connolly, You don't have to be a star, baby, to be on my show seems appropriate. Andrei considered the frequency of Mr Connolly's appearances on our television screens and thought Horror movie was much more apt.
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